2010-07-29T21:30:39Z John Tyler Curtis Copyright 2010, John Tyler Curtis SPHPBLOG
MySpace. Fucking A.

That's right. Every man's fantasy became my reality. I had seen her picture on another 'friends' myspace and added her to my roster of must haves. So when I called her name, I should have expected her flushed cheeks and sudden surprise. But I knew. Right then. I had known things about relationships before..like when to bring flowers, when to open the car door, when to run away after seeing the contents of the medicine cabinet...but never in my life had I felt like this before. I knew she was the one... I just had to convince her of it. It took a few patient dates, but now, I could never imagine my life without her. We wonder if in ten years we'll still be making out in front of the deli counter at the grocery store...Right now, I don't doubt it. Kinda makes you wanna throw up, right? That's the intention. My Girl and I have a love that makes others feel insecure, that proves reality television doesn't know shit about newlyweds or love in paradise... Everyone who knows me has stopped in their tracks and realized I won't become what I had spent so long trying to be: A lecherous old coot with a gold diggin twenty year old airhead. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Wou Yao Ni, En.

Love,

Tyler

]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry060831-023912 2006-08-31T00:00:00Z 2006-08-31T00:00:00Z
I still don't have a tan. It's high time I went and irradiated myself severely in some tube that resembles the Love Machine from Woody Allen's "Sleeper". I've been feeling the love lately from our fair city. I realized today that I've been a bit contained lately and I need to share some of the incredible things that have been happening. I finally got to meet The Cobra Snake, artiste extraordinaire, when he and I shot the Kill Hannah show at HOB on Tuesday. Mark is as nice as can be expected, and humble for a guy who is on everyone's hot list across the US. He came in and shot more bands in three days and crazier parties in our town than I see in a week. Madness. I am humbled and inspired. This inspiration has forced me to address certain parts of my life I have been ignoring: in particular, my website. So, I have pumped it up a bit. The main attraction is the two pages of Kill Hannah (From the Metro and HOB shows this year.) I owe alot to Mat, Greg, and Lil' Jonny. I was thinking about last May, right after my Mom passed: Kill Hannah had a "Halfway to Halloween" Contest at Trevia. I dresed up in my best regal garb, created some wicked slashed throat f/x, donned my powdered wig and attended as The Police song "The King of Pain." I won my 1st iPod that night (See my 1st blog!). Anyone who has one knows the joy and inspiration available at your finger tips of an iPod will understand. Anyway, on Tuesday, Mat broke the barrier with bands and photographers and brought me on stage in front of their fiercely loyal fans at House of Blues and we took some pics! On STAGE!!! (See pics "Can you believe it out here?" and "Welcome to Chicago.") Just awesome. That's the trust I talk about. Capturing those intimate moments just fuels my fire to continue on the path I'm running. The next night was just as cool, but I had to leave the camera at home for the first time in months. We were at the Lakeview Broadcasting Company opening night Party. Fall Out Boy, All American Rejects, and The Academy Is' lead singer William were all in attendence. It was just great to see so many smiling faces. Sure I wish I had my camera, but sometimes real face time is even better. Beforehand, I had a flash of inspiration and thought that William might attend, so I rifled through my pile of past issues of CHICAGO SCENE and grabbed Dec '05 - I had written and shot a piece on The Academy Is... when they were shooting their soon to be reshot video for "Slow Down" (I actually had a cameo!) I slipped the mag into my pocket and didn't even think about it until the minute Will's tall skinny ass walked in the door. Man, God is with us sometimes. After great exchanges and warm embraces, I showed him the piece and it was great seeing his reaction. He loved the pics. I was completely humbled again. There's alot to be said for compliments- I'll keep taking em as long as my pictures keep bringin em.

Tyler ]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry060421-025007 2006-04-21T00:00:00Z 2006-04-21T00:00:00Z My hands crimp up at the idea of parchment
My fingers ache as they press the ink forward
Dribble, Dribble goes the frog
Ribbit Ribbit burps the blog

But I remain true to my course
I knock out the fucker in under an hour
It looked at me funny for weeks
All I wanted to do was avoid its shriek

But the bitch came screamin for some attention
Tearing apart the room and getting in my head
I dreamed of a life less the one before me
and fell under it's hard gaze, silently

I exhaled, stuffed a cotton dildo in it's mouth
and began working it over with my magic fingers
I pushed and pulled at it, were it taffy
I molded it, pampered it, kept it happy

Until finally I had arrived, with a sense of pride
There stood my article, beneath a sign
That said "Done, Finished, Knocked it out of the park
That is, of course, until your editor begins to make her mark"

And that's when the red begins to flow...

This is the menstruation of writing an article]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry060113-045110 2006-01-13T00:00:00Z 2006-01-13T00:00:00Z what a thought
It means fighting for what you want
It means giving in because you want them
It means everything is going to be okay
because when the debris has cleared
You're still with the one you love

Together is always better than alone
Pain comes in waves
Cut it in half and it's effect ebbs
Flesh upon flesh, sweat on the back
Nothing in love should ever lack
the passion you had when you met
and the sex that makes you sweat

Falling in love isn't easy
I used to be quite sleazy
But she came when I wasn't looking
and now I'm always cooking
and cleaning, and touching, and rubbing
with the one I love


Did I mention the laughter?
Not just the tv induced hilarity
Belly laughs
High pitch hisses
Tears

This is it

I've just burst
my flower is in bloom
I can't wait to see her
She better get her soon

Or we'll fight and laugh and love and kiss
about who misses who the most in our
Eternal Bliss
]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry060110-231953 2006-01-11T00:00:00Z 2006-01-11T00:00:00Z a shade of red behind my eye
Golden orange crunch under my feet
with wet dead rain stuck to the street

Perfect ice forms in the wind on my face
It whips past my scarf at alarming pace
I look to the dark lake's growing rage
the water- white caps on sheets of sage

Neon hotel next to the Drive
Flickering candles keep the night alive
I revel in dreams of New York and Tokyo
future gifts that my photos bestow

Electrosex and beats in my head
speak images best left unsaid
I kiss my sparkling city, she exhales to my left
I close my lids and breathe, mind adrift

I know the they exist, just not sure where
Their scent like lilacs, their hearts to share
Violet eyes or shimmering brown locks
Blond regrets and gazes that shock

Another breath, now filled with smoke
I know things I own are but a joke
because the answers are all out there
in her, the glistening city - my secret lair...

I walk with a purpose, an M.O. of passion
I seek the life less ordinary of a different fashion
I prefer the beautiful in everything I see
Even if its not apparent to you or me

Because I know she's out there, alone in the cold
Waiting for my warmth and my hand to hold
Sponsor says I gotta wait four more months
I cry silent, alone with a blistering front

Now that November has laid her head down
and let us chew on her wintery crown
It's a wicked rim job that this season holds
laden with dead leaves- orange, red and gold.]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry051110-005716 2005-11-10T00:00:00Z 2005-11-10T00:00:00Z but the joint I hit cannot even illicit a smile

No lukewarm comfort with suds can I enjoy
knowing the shameful act I did once employ

Upon a girl somewhat young, but older in form
with tempest grey eyes, raining like a storm

My hands were gentle at first touch
her initial resistance...not that much

I knew she came to me for a reason
a contract broken, a lover’s treason

and for that I can will it right in my mind:
I am a man of virtue and principle, everytime.

for my goal really was to offer comfort of her soul
and put my hands deep into her dark little hole

As I have endured with other victims before
halfway through- the screams became a chore

But it was her shaking of the eyes that knocked my head
making me wish I was elsewhere- wished I was dead

She was something special, so young and frail
I hadn’t even noticed when her skin became pale

Her moans ceased, her kicks finally retracted
my hands warm with blood, an unholy deed acted

I rememeber crying to you God, with whom now I plead
Never with any of the girls have I let them so heavily bleed

And with life escaping on all angles and both sides,
waves of sadness engulfed me, pulling me out with the tides

Why have you let me fall into such an obvious Hell
where girls with children never want to tell


their parents, their aunts, uncles or even a friend
that it was me that raped and vilolated them in the end

Forty lives I have disposed of this year alone
yet some say under circumstance me they condone

But people picket me for these acts macarbe
as I exit the clinic and get in to my Saab

And now I wade in this huge marble tub
the filth of my deeds only you can scrub

Lord see me through as I tint the water of my bath
and through my sacrifice, prepare for your wrath

While uncertain and selfish, this move I make
May the guilt and horror from my life you take

For death is not a doctor, but a brother in law
and no more will I bathe and wash my skin raw

She flat lined cold at four thirty two p.m., today
In hot water, with this razor, me I slay

And hope that together God, we can talk about this-
my most serious complex, and avoid the snake’s hiss

For life here on earth doth beat me sound
And one less life taker, is now, not around.]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry051008-182858 2005-10-09T00:00:00Z 2005-10-09T00:00:00Z Doesn't make me some kind of whore
Green splash above my eye
Doesn't mean I just got high

Pretty dark circles, drawn around my vision balls
Bring you in and wipe out the trivial
guys who get fake numbers and girls
who can't remember their names

Heavy boots, ripped jeans and you
dancing on stage to the tune of the crew
Lights are blinding and so it would seem
you are a figment from my dream

But its not the piano girl that I write about
or even the brunette I want to take out
this congregation that I describe
Is System of a Down, take it with stride!

Cause they fucked my mind, my eyes and my throat
and to get off my make up I need a soak
Where I'll think of the wonderous muses I met after
and the one I kissed that was a fucking disaster

Couldn't believe she had an eightball in her tongue
First time in six months my face went numb
Severely disappointed I walked away
Thanking God I'm still sober today

But did I have a systematic breakdown, being in that moment?
Is the dark side of night always going to be a component...
Of my lifeforce and bloodstream and everything between?

God only knows and I'll let him/her figure it out
Cause I'm too tired and happy to even shout
Wet dreams probably await me and Saturday
someone clean will take care of me

And that's today's Systematic Breakdown

]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry051001-014648 2005-10-01T00:00:00Z 2005-10-01T00:00:00Z
Empty spaces need to be filled with secrets
They should be written in black ink
DaVinci wanted them in the mirror
and yours I never want to hear

Six months ago I killed a man for the last time
he looked at me funny, eyes bobbing, jaw aksew
There was nothing between us but a choice
One quick slash and he lost his voice

My hands are tired with splinters from the shovel
for the hole I try to fill keeps getting deeper
But standing over my former self, alone in the rain
reminds me that its been a long time since the pain

The rustle of graveyard leaves and tombstone whistles
blow on the back of my neck a little chill
Ritual moon rises and robes are put away
I have been alive just six months today

And look I forward to filling the rest of my empty spaces....
]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry050928-085711 2005-09-28T00:00:00Z 2005-09-28T00:00:00Z
'You're never really prepared for the day' they say. But what if you are?

I loved my mother until the day she died, which happened to be Tuesday, May3rd. she was defeated after a long six year bout with all sorts of Cancers. I had written her Eulogy almost two weeks before hand, knowing that inevability was around the corner. The Schiavo case had come to the inevitable conclusion and my mother was fresh in her residence at North Shore Hospice, a wonderful place to fade out. I wanted to make sure I captured her. I'm posting this to share with my friends who didn't have a chance to enjoy her company. There was an integral music cue of an edited "You Can't Always Get What You Want". After I finished, the guitar riff came in and Mick got the Mass jumpin...

For Pegi:

Our house was always open. The kitchen door remained ajar for the laughter and smiles of everyone who came in. Shoes were left at the door. Sunlight beamed in through the stained glass window over the sink, dividing the kitchen from the mexican fiesta known as Our Porch. By the time you got to the counter of the counter, walking towards that warm, sun-drenched palace of white wicker furniture, you had a cold cocktail in your hand. It's five p.m. on a warm late-summer day and Pegi is waiting for us.
The smiles and the laughter begin, books are discussed and maybe some hands of bridge are played over shrimp cocktails and bloody marys. The sun doesn't move until she wants it to. A violet sky simmers above the treeline with a fiery sunset just as the stereo gets turned up. Candles are lit. It smells like rain and Pegi is laughing after a brilliant home cooked meal- Like Osso Bucco, Poached Salmon with cold dill, authentic mexican, italian, rack of lamb, pot roast, pasta, or any other culinary delight she felt like whipping up that night. There was nothing Julia Child could throw at Pegi that she couldn't even knock out of the Ballpark. The music just makes it taste better. More candles are lit. Others are replaced. You remember Janis, Buffet, Mamas and the Papas, Gipsy Kings, Marley, Chris Isaak- maybe even some Carole King or Grateful Dead. You smell the rain before it pounds onto the slotted glass windows on the porch. You sink into the wicker-backed couch and smile- and Pegi is smiling right back at you. A symphonyh of thunder is the preamble to the electric clash of chain lightning. The house shakes under the sonic boom and then, the power goes out. The only thing you can see is the gleam of her smile in the flickering candlelight. Beneath your own giggling you hear the cacophony of Pegi's signature snorted laugh. We're safe- and in good company.
She kept us safe. And good company was always welcome.
It was her gift to give to us: Her warmth, her smile, and even the occasional snorting laugh- All of these things are the hardest ones to let go of. Her gift was just being Peg. No one fit on a beach better than "Mamacita Margarita"- As the nation of Mexico will soon attest. From the days in Acapulco with me in utero, to the week after the first wave of bad news came rolling in and we surrendered to Puerto Vallarta's comfort, my mom was gifted at being at ease. And we, in turn, wanted to be in that blissful state when we were around her. Happiness was always abound with Pegi due to her unconditional love for all of us. And that was HER GIFT.

(Music Begins...Organ and Choir of the ROLLING STONES.)

We're all told that once were given a gift, it's ours forever. But the smile that's on our faces right now when we think of Pegi- our friend, your sister, your daughter, my mother, your wife and everlasting love...These smiles are now OUR GIFT to her. She's collecting them from us as we sit down here on the pews. She's lounging on God's porch in a sundress with a halo over her head and the best view in the world. She knows we loved her just as she loved us. It still doesn't make the loss any easier- Because to kno w Pegi is to love her. And we always will. While we'd love to continue our days with her, we realize that, just like one of her favorite songs, "You can't always what you want, but you can try sometimes, and you just might find, you get what you need." What we need to do now is celebrate Pegi, because that's what she wants. And we will.
We miss you dearly mom, and you will not be forgotten.

"...I saw her today at the reception, a glass of wine in her hand..."


]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry050916-083853 2005-09-16T00:00:00Z 2005-09-16T00:00:00Z
I just read Michael Moore's openly sarcastic and totally pedestrian atttack on Bush. It read as fi anyone who knew Michael Moore's M.O. could have written it- This does not mean to detract from the issue at hand. For the first time in a year, Moore's arguements are 100% justifiable. (I give a lot of leeway to the fundamental weakness of any human being in a position of power. You have to be INSANE to want to lead the free world.)

Bottom line is: New Orleans is a fucking mess.

For two days I have immersed myself in Katrina's wake, watching every broadcast I can get my eyes on. PBS is doing a great job, as is NBC and ABC. (CBS is in another world, airing Hilfiger's reality show while the other networks dedicate coverage to the atrocities happening in the Big Easy.) Five days into the horrorshow and CBS can't let go of its vice grip on the 18-34 demographic it fought for years to get....unbelievable. I have had ample time to watch this as I sit displaced from the world with a wicked case of Pneumonia- made only worse by sitting in my apartment with nothing to do (Everything is in boxes for a Tuesday move). I can only formulate the worst of opinions concerning FEMA, Brown, Blanca, Congress, and Mr. Bush. You gotta wonder if Bush jsut doesn't want all those poor blacks invading his sacntity of the greater nation of TEXAS, and has decided to stonewall the relief so that many of them will perish due to the heat, dehydration and violence.. What he doesn't know is that another Hurricane is probalby on the way. The press would love to say this isn't a race issue, but seeing how much help has arrived in the majority white-based Mississipi Gulf Coast, one can only scratch their heads. It is disheartening to apply the stereotypes to this disaster, but it is inevitable. A performer recently commented that when the Blacks raid the stores it's called "Looting", but when Whites do it, its called "Finding Food." And Kayne, well... Everyone heard that one.
Well, I got news for you, courtesy of World News Tonight on ABC: The blacks are looting. And the whites are too. But they're not taking anything of substantial use- thus proving an education wasted is a terrible thing.

According to Police in New Orleans, the large chain stores that have been hit, have been hit in the worst way-.

Picture this: You have no power, no water, and no shelter. Your family cringes in the dark beside you. You reach a Wal-Mart. What do you take?

a) Water, First-Aid, Powdered and Dry Goods, Pens, Office Supplies, Signs, Paint, Rope, Camping Gear, inflatable devices, Socks, Shoes, Candy

B) Blue Jeans, Jewelery, TVs., DVD Players, Xbox games, DVDs, CDS, Furniture, etc.

Seems an easy answer doesn't it? But B is the correct answer. While many raided the food first, more have opted out against their own health and chose the low road of material possesion. Apparently not to the people of New Orleans who have taken the time out of their busy days to loot the Jewelery and Electronics sections of the chain stores, as well as the boutiques downtown. And where exactly are they supposed to store this new gear? What in God's name are they thinking? This makes me so fucking sad for the human race, its no wonder terrorists hate our spoiled American values.I'm sure mosque attendance is at an all time high. They must be reveling in this, especially since we have turned our backs to them. "Just let the Niggers run their course" says Jim Crow. " It'll work itself out just fine..." I cannot believe that the US Govt has allowed us to opine so loudly and show these horrifying images of corpses, sadness, looting and violence with no sign of hope. While the gov't is using ice to cool their Diet Cokes, they should be putting it on cooking corpses in the street. New Orleans is a cesspooll and as of right now, up for grabs....

And what do we do in the face of tragedy? WE LAUGH.

Q: What is George W. Bush's Postition on Roe vs. Wade?

A: Doesn't matter. He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans....


AND NOW....

The Louisiana Refund

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that George W. Bush
has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more
than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will
be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with
French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisiana
in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions
of dollars (and even more EUROS) to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush.
"He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water
and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. Seeing as they're already
accustomed to the smell, they should feel right at home and be ready to
get right to work. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured
me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of
Louisiana.

"Shuba-pie!" wailed New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly
yum kom drabby sham!

However, Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by George W. Bush," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions and
billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25
million dollars in pure profit."

Even the Democrats professed unmitigated support for the President.

"I just can't fucking believe it. Pure genius. Who woulda thunk it?
Unbefuckinglievable. I gotta give him credit. Props to the Bush." said an
exasperated Illinois Senator Barrack Obama (D-Illionois)

The newly formed Brass Band Relief Troupe of New Orleans was visibly
excited about the possibility of the influx of French Horn Donations in
the near future.

"Bwua-shepbor-muhammonao!!!" Said Lemanjello De la Croix Aquafit. "Weeesa
gahnnna blow! Shaunuff!"

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not
only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on
the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can
easily invade and take it back again."

The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be
immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

In related news, Jeb Bush has been attempting all day to contact the ever
elusive Pirates of the Carribean to piece off whats left of Key West while
Texas Governor Rick Perry has placed a return phone call to Mexican
President Vincent Fox offering a quote for Texas.

Meanwhile, in related news, Muslim Mosque attendance has reached Guiness
Book of World Record proportions...]]> http://tylercurtis.com/pblog/index.php?entry=entry050902-234235 2005-09-03T00:00:00Z 2005-09-03T00:00:00Z