The Skeptic in me nearly prevented it from happening. You always wonder who will be "The One". No, you geek, I'm not talking about Keanu. I had closed my brain off and lost myself in work, growing weary of hot slutty and sweaty bodies that constantly grinded my gears and tested my patience. I admit that the dens of debauchery I run in hardly lend themselves proper prey to a sober mind like mind, but alas... It was in the bowels of Billy Dec's Le Passage that I called her name. I hadn't even met her before walking into the service bar/kitchen... So, how did I know? Tell you how I knew her name before ever meeting her?

MySpace. Fucking A.

That's right. Every man's fantasy became my reality. I had seen her picture on another 'friends' myspace and added her to my roster of must haves. So when I called her name, I should have expected her flushed cheeks and sudden surprise. But I knew. Right then. I had known things about relationships before..like when to bring flowers, when to open the car door, when to run away after seeing the contents of the medicine cabinet...but never in my life had I felt like this before. I knew she was the one... I just had to convince her of it. It took a few patient dates, but now, I could never imagine my life without her. We wonder if in ten years we'll still be making out in front of the deli counter at the grocery store...Right now, I don't doubt it. Kinda makes you wanna throw up, right? That's the intention. My Girl and I have a love that makes others feel insecure, that proves reality television doesn't know shit about newlyweds or love in paradise... Everyone who knows me has stopped in their tracks and realized I won't become what I had spent so long trying to be: A lecherous old coot with a gold diggin twenty year old airhead. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Wou Yao Ni, En.

Love,

Tyler

The Weather: 50 degrees. Perfect

I still don't have a tan. It's high time I went and irradiated myself severely in some tube that resembles the Love Machine from Woody Allen's "Sleeper". I've been feeling the love lately from our fair city. I realized today that I've been a bit contained lately and I need to share some of the incredible things that have been happening. I finally got to meet The Cobra Snake, artiste extraordinaire, when he and I shot the Kill Hannah show at HOB on Tuesday. Mark is as nice as can be expected, and humble for a guy who is on everyone's hot list across the US. He came in and shot more bands in three days and crazier parties in our town than I see in a week. Madness. I am humbled and inspired. This inspiration has forced me to address certain parts of my life I have been ignoring: in particular, my website. So, I have pumped it up a bit. The main attraction is the two pages of Kill Hannah (From the Metro and HOB shows this year.) I owe alot to Mat, Greg, and Lil' Jonny. I was thinking about last May, right after my Mom passed: Kill Hannah had a "Halfway to Halloween" Contest at Trevia. I dresed up in my best regal garb, created some wicked slashed throat f/x, donned my powdered wig and attended as The Police song "The King of Pain." I won my 1st iPod that night (See my 1st blog!). Anyone who has one knows the joy and inspiration available at your finger tips of an iPod will understand. Anyway, on Tuesday, Mat broke the barrier with bands and photographers and brought me on stage in front of their fiercely loyal fans at House of Blues and we took some pics! On STAGE!!! (See pics "Can you believe it out here?" and "Welcome to Chicago.") Just awesome. That's the trust I talk about. Capturing those intimate moments just fuels my fire to continue on the path I'm running. The next night was just as cool, but I had to leave the camera at home for the first time in months. We were at the Lakeview Broadcasting Company opening night Party. Fall Out Boy, All American Rejects, and The Academy Is' lead singer William were all in attendence. It was just great to see so many smiling faces. Sure I wish I had my camera, but sometimes real face time is even better. Beforehand, I had a flash of inspiration and thought that William might attend, so I rifled through my pile of past issues of CHICAGO SCENE and grabbed Dec '05 - I had written and shot a piece on The Academy Is... when they were shooting their soon to be reshot video for "Slow Down" (I actually had a cameo!) I slipped the mag into my pocket and didn't even think about it until the minute Will's tall skinny ass walked in the door. Man, God is with us sometimes. After great exchanges and warm embraces, I showed him the piece and it was great seeing his reaction. He loved the pics. I was completely humbled again. There's alot to be said for compliments- I'll keep taking em as long as my pictures keep bringin em.

Tyler

The lips of Shakespeare breathe heavy on my mind
My hands crimp up at the idea of parchment
My fingers ache as they press the ink forward
Dribble, Dribble goes the frog
Ribbit Ribbit burps the blog

But I remain true to my course
I knock out the fucker in under an hour
It looked at me funny for weeks
All I wanted to do was avoid its shriek

But the bitch came screamin for some attention
Tearing apart the room and getting in my head
I dreamed of a life less the one before me
and fell under it's hard gaze, silently

I exhaled, stuffed a cotton dildo in it's mouth
and began working it over with my magic fingers
I pushed and pulled at it, were it taffy
I molded it, pampered it, kept it happy

Until finally I had arrived, with a sense of pride
There stood my article, beneath a sign
That said "Done, Finished, Knocked it out of the park
That is, of course, until your editor begins to make her mark"

And that's when the red begins to flow...

This is the menstruation of writing an article

Falling in love
what a thought
It means fighting for what you want
It means giving in because you want them
It means everything is going to be okay
because when the debris has cleared
You're still with the one you love

Together is always better than alone
Pain comes in waves
Cut it in half and it's effect ebbs
Flesh upon flesh, sweat on the back
Nothing in love should ever lack
the passion you had when you met
and the sex that makes you sweat

Falling in love isn't easy
I used to be quite sleazy
But she came when I wasn't looking
and now I'm always cooking
and cleaning, and touching, and rubbing
with the one I love


Did I mention the laughter?
Not just the tv induced hilarity
Belly laughs
High pitch hisses
Tears

This is it

I've just burst
my flower is in bloom
I can't wait to see her
She better get her soon

Or we'll fight and laugh and love and kiss
about who misses who the most in our
Eternal Bliss

The leaves have turned, oh my
a shade of red behind my eye
Golden orange crunch under my feet
with wet dead rain stuck to the street

Perfect ice forms in the wind on my face
It whips past my scarf at alarming pace
I look to the dark lake's growing rage
the water- white caps on sheets of sage

Neon hotel next to the Drive
Flickering candles keep the night alive
I revel in dreams of New York and Tokyo
future gifts that my photos bestow

Electrosex and beats in my head
speak images best left unsaid
I kiss my sparkling city, she exhales to my left
I close my lids and breathe, mind adrift

I know the they exist, just not sure where
Their scent like lilacs, their hearts to share
Violet eyes or shimmering brown locks
Blond regrets and gazes that shock

Another breath, now filled with smoke
I know things I own are but a joke
because the answers are all out there
in her, the glistening city - my secret lair...

I walk with a purpose, an M.O. of passion
I seek the life less ordinary of a different fashion
I prefer the beautiful in everything I see
Even if its not apparent to you or me

Because I know she's out there, alone in the cold
Waiting for my warmth and my hand to hold
Sponsor says I gotta wait four more months
I cry silent, alone with a blistering front

Now that November has laid her head down
and let us chew on her wintery crown
It's a wicked rim job that this season holds
laden with dead leaves- orange, red and gold.